Fri, 04 Dec 2009 06:33:56 +0700WeeblyFri, 04 Dec 2009 05:13:05 +0700http://www.theshinyproject.com/1/post/2009/12/little-butterfly-pants-di-di-di-di-di-di.htmlAdelle Shayna's first Yahrtzeit is tonight/tomorrow. I'm not going to say I'm dealing with it well or poorly, I have learned over the past year that there is no quality to the behaviors of grief...but I will tell you I'm dealing with it with the help of ice cream, fun size candy bars, and cookies. I've also found myself on the verge of tears at the grocery store and sleeping poorly, being woken by bad dreams. On the flipside, I've been desperately creative. I just finished the scrapbook on which I was working and now I am starving for another project. I kind of want to take up beading, but to what end, I'm not sure. How much stuff can I sew beads on?
I have not been re-granted the rush of chemicals that carried me through the weeks after her death and was responsible for my optimism and the creation of The Shiny Project. I don't feel inspired to do our publish something intense and moving in honor of her Yahrtzeit...I just want to survive the day. I feel like the best I can manage is a twitter campaign. I am really grateful for the amount of support we've seen from our community to help us get through this day and I can't imagine managing without it.
I'm not working tonight, tomorrow Hubby and I are going to Adelle Shayna's Kever for the first time. I just keep thinking, "A year? How could it have been a whole year?" And I'm sad and angry that we're getting so far away from the time we had with her and I just want to look Moshiach in the face and say, "Nu???" I'm just so tired of the bitter dissatisfaction of being a bereaved mother. And now that I'm waaay pregnant and have this KA'H delicious little boy who just wants to be friends with the whole world, I find myself on the bus telling strangers that, no, this is my third child because as uncomfortable as it is to tell a stranger that my daughter died, I refuse to make believe for even a moment that she didn't exist.My feelings have changed since last year. I am now angry and bitter and that's totally OK. My fervent desire remains the same, though. I simply want Moshiach to come and end this suffering. And angry as I may be, I believe he will.]]>Mon, 13 Jul 2009 07:57:56 +0700http://www.theshinyproject.com/1/post/2009/07/adelle-shaynas-birthday-weekend-recap.htmlAdelle Shayna's first birthday was on Shabbos. We got her this Baby Minnie Mouse. It has a blanket attached that swaddles with velcro and there's a little shiny butterfly over the closure. Perfect, y/y? The Farbrengen we had at our shul was small. We sponsored the kiddush and had some sweets because you know how I need my chocolate when times are tough. But it wasn't really that tough. I was nervous and miserable up until I spoke and then I was ok.
I don't remember it perfectly, but I'll paraphrase what I said -
"A dear friend of mine out in the blogosphere lost her battle with cancer last week. She was in a lot of pain, but she wanted to defeat it and go on living. Now that she has passed away, she's gone to a place where she will never suffer or know sorrow again. She will always know G-d and be close to Him. She will never want for anything.
Here on Earth, things are not so peachy. We suffer, we worry, we want. We have to live without people we love or things that we want. Often, there isn't anything we can do about it. Sometimes it seems like the easiest, even ideal thing to do is wait to die. Why not just give up and wait for G-d to take us into His arms? Let Him deal with everything so we don't have to worry.
If that's what we were meant to do, G-d would just take us. What would He put us down here for if all He wanted us to do was wait? He gave us a job to do. It's our purpose to be here and be working to bring Heaven down to Earth. G-d gave us the Mitzvos so we could do that. Every Mitzvah we do puts one more brick on the Beis HaMikdash and brings us one step closer to establishing G-d's kingdom on Earth and bringing Moshiach.
And here's my segue to the Parsha.
Chassidus tells us that Pinchas had the same Neshama (soul) as Eliyahu HaNovi(Elijah the Prophet). Eliyahu HaNovi will be the one who tells us when Moshiach gets here. Chassidus also tells us that every year, in every cycle of life, when something recurs on the calendar, it recurs spiritually. So, for example, every year on Rosh HaShana, the world is spiritually recreated. Let's hope that this year we'll see the Neshama of Eliyahu HaNovi B'guf (in the flesh), telling us that Moshiach is here. Then we won't have to live without anyone we love or anything we need.
L'Chaim. And I'm making L'Chaim on seltzer, because I'm not in college anymore."

We thought that yesterday (Sunday) we would go to her kever (grave).  We haven't been since the funeral.  In the end we decided not to.  I feel pulled to go there only by a sense of obligation, like people would judge me for not having been there yet.  There were a lot of reasons I didn't want to go yesterday.  First of all, we didn't have a ride there.  We would have to take public transport, which would have taken hours.  We would have left Moo in Manhattan.  And then what if being there wrecked us and we wanted to see Moo right away?  It would be impossible to get back to him quickly.  Or, what if being there wrecked us and we just wanted to sleep and *not* deal with Moo's needs for a while?  I knew it would be emotionally, downright miserable and at the end of the day on Shabbos, I was feeling ok.  I didn't really see a reason to plan for misery. 
I just don't want to think of her as a dead body.  I know that she is gone.  Believe, me, I don't need to stand on the earth she's buried under to understand that she isn't with us anymore, but why should I have to relive the night she died and the day we buried her?  How would acknowledging the tragedy or her absense and the horror of losing her honor her birthday?
So, yesterday we had a family day.  We celebrated being together and we went to Governor's Island.  It was really lovely.  The weather was beautiful and the Island itself is wonderful.  Lots to do, very peaceful and quiet and it's easy to get to!  We took some great picutres and really enjoyed being together.  On the way back to the boat to go back to Manhattan, we all bought sodas and it was a fun treat because usually, we just drink water.  Moo really enjoyed his "Ornch," soda.  We came home and had a nice family dinner and then Moo and I made a cake, which we all had for breakfast this morning.  It has eggs!  It's practically an omelette.

]]>Wed, 08 Jul 2009 21:17:53 +0700http://www.theshinyproject.com/1/post/2009/07/adelle-shaynas-first-birthday-is-coming.htmlG-dwilling we will be having a Farbrengen at our Shul, Chabad of the West Sixties, this Shabbos, July 11th. 

I am renewing my request for more Mitzvahs in her honor.  Specifically, I am tweeting Jewish celebrities, asking them to put on Tefillin.  I asked Brent Spiner and William Shatner, so far.  Any other suggestions??

I'll keep you posted with (IYH!) responses!

]]>Sun, 26 Apr 2009 09:49:02 +0700http://www.theshinyproject.com/1/post/2009/04/inventory-and-housekeeping-of-the-soul.htmlPesach has passed us.  By now our kitchens are back to normal, tin foil covered counters and extra-cautious food preparation is just a memory.  Here we are, moving on with our lives, fully leavened. 

In the days and weeks leading up to Passover, we cleaned our houses.  Really, really cleaned.  I got behind the nightstands, under the beds, in the closets, no stone unturned, no crumb unfound, my house was free of Chametz.

When a Jewish woman visits the Mikvah, before she immerses, she must bathe and clean herself meticulously.  Underneath her finger and toenails, behind her ears, even betweeen her teeth, must be immaculate.  When she enters the Mikvah, and stands before HaShem, she must be free of all intervening substances.

On Pesach, we all had the opportunity to free ourselves of intervening substances and stand before HaShem, once again at Sinai and facing our redemption.  Now the tinfoil is gone, the "shine is off it", but we still stand before G-d.  Shavuos approaches us, our chance to receive the Torah once again and affirm our commitment to G-d.  My question for you is, between now and then, will you let the "intervening substances" build? Or can we all immerse in HaShem's love for us?

]]>Fri, 13 Mar 2009 13:17:42 +0700http://www.theshinyproject.com/1/post/2009/03/sorry.htmlShiny Shabbos is on hiatus.  I have my hands a little full (in a good way!  B'H!) and haven't had a chance to sit down and put together the brilliance I know you're all itching for ;-)

 

Have a wonderful Shabbos!!!!

]]>Fri, 27 Feb 2009 08:09:12 +0700http://www.theshinyproject.com/1/post/2009/02/have-a-shiny-shabbos4.htmlShabbos Parshas Terumah

In this week's Parsha HaShem lays out the exact specifications of the Sanctuary to be built by the Jews in the desert.  "They shall make Me a sanctuary and I shall dwell amidst them."

HaShem demands the best of everything; precious metals, vividly colored wool, flax, goat hair, wood, pure olive oil, rich spices and precious gems.  HaShem also asked for the skins of animals both mundane and exotic.

The contributions came from everyone in the camp.  We all gave the best of what we had to honor HaShem and bring Him to dwell with us.

Today living in Golus, we no longer have HaShem's Sanctuary.  We pray every day that Moshiach should come and rebuild it.  In the meantime, each of us has a Mikdash Me'at -  a small sanctuary.  A person's home is his own Mikdash Me'at.  Today it is our responsibility to give HaShem the best of what we have to bring Him to dwell with us.

Does that mean that we should have a roof made of animal skins, goat hair and wool? Should we have gold-plated walls?  No.  The gold that HaShem wants from us today is our Mitzvos.  A door with a Mezuzah, a Kosher Kitchen, a home revolving around Taharas HaMishpocha - theses are the adornments of a Mikdash Me'at. 

Make this Shabbos Shiny!

Give it the best you've got!  The Shabbos table is like the altar in the Beis HaMikdash - dressed finely and equipped with Challah and salt and wine in a special cup.  We are also commanded to eat the most delicious food on Shabbos.  If you discover a special delicacy during the week, you should save it for Shabbos. 

This Shabbos, make an effort to have something special and delicious at your table.  Enjoy it and realize that in doing so, you are serving HaShem with joy and pleasure.  Share your Shabbos treat with a friend!

Leave me a comment with your special Shabbos recipe! 

]]>Fri, 20 Feb 2009 12:14:04 +0700http://www.theshinyproject.com/1/post/2009/02/have-a-shiny-shabbos3.htmlShabbos Parshas Mishpatim This week's Parsha is a doozy! HaShem gives us fifty three commandments. Some of them are Mishpatim - Commandments that make logical sense, like the penalties for certain crimes against other people. Some of them are Chukim - Commandments that don't make logical sense, like not eating meat and milk together. This week we commitment we made last week - "We will do and we will listen," is put to the test.  Will we continue to follow HaShem's laws even if we can't explain them?  Will we restrict our diets?  Will we celebrate our G-d with seasonal festivals and daily prayer?  Will worship Him faithfully even as those around us do not?Again, the people answer, "We will do and we will listen." Yes.  Yes we will.  There, standing at Sinai, thousands of years ago, we told HaShem that we would commit ourselves to so many of the things that define Jewish life today; Kashrus, Daily Prayer, the Holy Days.  A promise made long ago and kept today; every day.  After giving us these new Commandments, HaShem warns us - do not take on the ways of the current inhabitants of the Promised Land.  Stay true to the laws that I have given you, stay true to Me.  Don't let them take you away from Me.  Is that a promise we still keep today?  Sometimes, it's easy to let "them," take us away from Him.  To worship their values over His.  We live in Golus - in Exile, surrounded by influences that directly contradict the Commandments we were given this week.  It's easier to find non-Kosher food than Kosher food.  Most of our employers are open on the Jewish Holy days and they certainly don't all break for Mincha in the afternoon.  We have to make the choice every day to serve HaShem.What's your choice?Make this Shabbos Shiny!Learn more about the Commandments we are given this week.  Brush up on the laws of Kashrus or the Holy Days.  Let HaShem Shine through you by passing on what you learn.Have a WONDERFUL Shabbos.

]]>Thu, 12 Feb 2009 20:41:38 +0700http://www.theshinyproject.com/1/post/2009/02/have-a-shiny-shabbos2.htmlShabbos Parshas Yitro

This week's Parsha is a Very Big Deal.  The essence of everything we are supposed to learn from HaShem's teachings is in this week's Parsha.  If you were to boil down the Torah, Yitro is what you would get.  Yitro is Torah buillion (for those of you who don't make soup from scratch. Ahem.)

And what do you think that essence is?  Totally obvious to anyone who's read the Parsha, right?

The Ten Commandments!

Wrong.  Well, in my humble opinion, you're wrong.

What do *I* think the very buillion of belief is?

Na'aseh V'Nishma - We will DO and we will listen.

That little phrase is the cornerstone of my faith.  It defines the motivation for why I dress, eat, speak, worship and live the way I do.  There are days that it is my sustenance.  Declaring "Na'aseh V'Nishma," is telling HaShem, "In everything I will put You first.  I will serve Your will without question.  I have greater faith in You than I do myself."

Now isn't *that* a doozy of a concept in today's day and age?  Look at your life and ask yourself, "Who is the ultimate authority? Who's glory am I living for?"  Is your answer "Me!  Mine!"?  Are there Commandments you don't follow because they aren't logical?  Things you don't do because they "just don't make sense," to you?  We're living in a "We will listen and then we will (maybe) do," time.  In everything, we consider our options, see what fits and choose our path accordingly.  There are some situations for which that is absolutely the right course of action.

There are some situations for which it is not.  In this Parsha, HaShem gives us Ten Commandments.  Before that, we accept them, sight unseen.  In two (Hebrew) words (six in English), we tell Him that whatever he tells us to do, we'll do it.  Every Jewish soul was at Sinai.  Every Jewish soul told HaShem, "I will do, and I will listen."  Even yours.

To me, believing, truly believing that G-d's is the ultimate wisdom is the greatest comfort in my life.  It is a sweet, relieving freedom to know that He is in control and has a plan.

Make this Shabbos Shiny

Do.  Then listen.  Humble yourself before G-d this week and recognize the gift He has given you in Torah.  Concentrate on recognizing His authority and wisdom.

]]>Fri, 06 Feb 2009 11:59:20 +0700http://www.theshinyproject.com/1/post/2009/02/have-a-shiny-shabbosshira.htmlI'm sure you're all itching to hear what I have to say after last week's break.  I hope not to let my adoring public down...all two of you.

Shabbos Parshas Beshalach - Shabbos Shira

This Shabbos is called Shabbos Shira because the Parsha recounts the splitting of the Red Sea and the song the Children of Israel sang in Praise of HaShem.

The entire Parshah talks about the amazing things HaShem did for us - split the sea, bring us through it, provide us with food and water in the desert.

HaShem is still doing amazing things every day, though they may not be accompanied with such special effects as food from nowhere and water from rocks.  But we know that He's still involved in our lives, otherwise, we wouldn't say Brachas.  There's a bracha for everything you ingest - even  a glass of water.  Every day, all day we thank G-d for the gifts He gives us and the things He does.

Make this Shabbos Shiny!

Make an extra Bracha and thank HaShem in a way you may have been lacking in before.  Recognize the amazing things He's doing in your life every day.  Did you know there's a prayer for when you hear lightening?  Next time there's a storm, get under cover and grab a siddur!

]]>Fri, 23 Jan 2009 10:08:52 +0700http://www.theshinyproject.com/1/post/2009/01/have-a-shiny-shabbos1.htmlShabbos Parshas Va'eira

In this week's Parsha, HaShem makes a promise He intends to keep.  He reveals himself to Moses.  G-d tells Moses of the complete redemption of the Jewish people from slavery - He will take us out of Egypt, deliver us from slavery, redeem us and acquire us as His own.  It is a four-pronged promise, incomplete simply in the guarantee to release the Jewish people from bondage.  He promises to release us, care for us, guide us through the desert and then wed us to Him by giving us his Holy Torah. 
 
Every year we celebrate the keeping of this promise when we celebrate Passover and then Shavuos.  In Chassidus, we learn that when we mark the anniversary of something, we relive it spiritually.  That means that every Passover, we relive our redemption.  On Shavuos, we relive the commitment we made with HaShem. 

Do we have to wait until these holidays to relive these moments?  I don't think so.  Every time we do a Mitzvah, we recall the promise HaShem made to us. He took us out of Egypt, delivered us, redeemed us and made us His by giving us the Torah.  Performing the Mitzvahs from the Torah HaShem gave us, strengthens the bonds of our Marriage to G-d.  It reminds us that we are His and that He is ours.  It reminds us that He promised to redeem us and brings us one step closer to our final redemption.

Make this Shabbos Shiny!

Is there a promise you haven't been keeping?  To HaShem?  To others?  To yourself?  Let HaShem shine through you this Shabbos by reaffirming your promises and get a little bit closer to the person you want to be.

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