Adelle Shayna's first birthday was on Shabbos. We got her this Baby Minnie Mouse. It has a blanket attached that swaddles with velcro and there's a little shiny butterfly over the closure. Perfect, y/y? The Farbrengen we had at our shul was small. We sponsored the kiddush and had some sweets because you know how I need my chocolate when times are tough. But it wasn't really that tough. I was nervous and miserable up until I spoke and then I was ok.
I don't remember it perfectly, but I'll paraphrase what I said -
"A dear friend of mine out in the blogosphere lost her battle with cancer last week. She was in a lot of pain, but she wanted to defeat it and go on living. Now that she has passed away, she's gone to a place where she will never suffer or know sorrow again. She will always know G-d and be close to Him. She will never want for anything.
Here on Earth, things are not so peachy. We suffer, we worry, we want. We have to live without people we love or things that we want. Often, there isn't anything we can do about it. Sometimes it seems like the easiest, even ideal thing to do is wait to die. Why not just give up and wait for G-d to take us into His arms? Let Him deal with everything so we don't have to worry.
If that's what we were meant to do, G-d would just take us. What would He put us down here for if all He wanted us to do was wait? He gave us a job to do. It's our purpose to be here and be working to bring Heaven down to Earth. G-d gave us the Mitzvos so we could do that. Every Mitzvah we do puts one more brick on the Beis HaMikdash and brings us one step closer to establishing G-d's kingdom on Earth and bringing Moshiach.
And here's my segue to the Parsha.
Chassidus tells us that Pinchas had the same Neshama (soul) as Eliyahu HaNovi(Elijah the Prophet). Eliyahu HaNovi will be the one who tells us when Moshiach gets here. Chassidus also tells us that every year, in every cycle of life, when something recurs on the calendar, it recurs spiritually. So, for example, every year on Rosh HaShana, the world is spiritually recreated. Let's hope that this year we'll see the Neshama of Eliyahu HaNovi B'guf (in the flesh), telling us that Moshiach is here. Then we won't have to live without anyone we love or anything we need.
L'Chaim. And I'm making L'Chaim on seltzer, because I'm not in college anymore."

We thought that yesterday (Sunday) we would go to her kever (grave).  We haven't been since the funeral.  In the end we decided not to.  I feel pulled to go there only by a sense of obligation, like people would judge me for not having been there yet.  There were a lot of reasons I didn't want to go yesterday.  First of all, we didn't have a ride there.  We would have to take public transport, which would have taken hours.  We would have left Moo in Manhattan.  And then what if being there wrecked us and we wanted to see Moo right away?  It would be impossible to get back to him quickly.  Or, what if being there wrecked us and we just wanted to sleep and *not* deal with Moo's needs for a while?  I knew it would be emotionally, downright miserable and at the end of the day on Shabbos, I was feeling ok.  I didn't really see a reason to plan for misery. 
I just don't want to think of her as a dead body.  I know that she is gone.  Believe, me, I don't need to stand on the earth she's buried under to understand that she isn't with us anymore, but why should I have to relive the night she died and the day we buried her?  How would acknowledging the tragedy or her absense and the horror of losing her honor her birthday?
So, yesterday we had a family day.  We celebrated being together and we went to Governor's Island.  It was really lovely.  The weather was beautiful and the Island itself is wonderful.  Lots to do, very peaceful and quiet and it's easy to get to!  We took some great picutres and really enjoyed being together.  On the way back to the boat to go back to Manhattan, we all bought sodas and it was a fun treat because usually, we just drink water.  Moo really enjoyed his "Ornch," soda.  We came home and had a nice family dinner and then Moo and I made a cake, which we all had for breakfast this morning.  It has eggs!  It's practically an omelette.

Pesach has passed us.  By now our kitchens are back to normal, tin foil covered counters and extra-cautious food preparation is just a memory.  Here we are, moving on with our lives, fully leavened. 

In the days and weeks leading up to Passover, we cleaned our houses.  Really, really cleaned.  I got behind the nightstands, under the beds, in the closets, no stone unturned, no crumb unfound, my house was free of Chametz.

When a Jewish woman visits the Mikvah, before she immerses, she must bathe and clean herself meticulously.  Underneath her finger and toenails, behind her ears, even betweeen her teeth, must be immaculate.  When she enters the Mikvah, and stands before HaShem, she must be free of all intervening substances.

On Pesach, we all had the opportunity to free ourselves of intervening substances and stand before HaShem, once again at Sinai and facing our redemption.  Now the tinfoil is gone, the "shine is off it", but we still stand before G-d.  Shavuos approaches us, our chance to receive the Torah once again and affirm our commitment to G-d.  My question for you is, between now and then, will you let the "intervening substances" build? Or can we all immerse in HaShem's love for us?

Shabbos Parshas Terumah

In this week's Parsha HaShem lays out the exact specifications of the Sanctuary to be built by the Jews in the desert.  "They shall make Me a sanctuary and I shall dwell amidst them."

HaShem demands the best of everything; precious metals, vividly colored wool, flax, goat hair, wood, pure olive oil, rich spices and precious gems.  HaShem also asked for the skins of animals both mundane and exotic.

The contributions came from everyone in the camp.  We all gave the best of what we had to honor HaShem and bring Him to dwell with us.

Today living in Golus, we no longer have HaShem's Sanctuary.  We pray every day that Moshiach should come and rebuild it.  In the meantime, each of us has a Mikdash Me'at -  a small sanctuary.  A person's home is his own Mikdash Me'at.  Today it is our responsibility to give HaShem the best of what we have to bring Him to dwell with us.

Does that mean that we should have a roof made of animal skins, goat hair and wool? Should we have gold-plated walls?  No.  The gold that HaShem wants from us today is our Mitzvos.  A door with a Mezuzah, a Kosher Kitchen, a home revolving around Taharas HaMishpocha - theses are the adornments of a Mikdash Me'at. 

Make this Shabbos Shiny!

Give it the best you've got!  The Shabbos table is like the altar in the Beis HaMikdash - dressed finely and equipped with Challah and salt and wine in a special cup.  We are also commanded to eat the most delicious food on Shabbos.  If you discover a special delicacy during the week, you should save it for Shabbos. 

This Shabbos, make an effort to have something special and delicious at your table.  Enjoy it and realize that in doing so, you are serving HaShem with joy and pleasure.  Share your Shabbos treat with a friend!

Leave me a comment with your special Shabbos recipe! 

Shabbos Parshas Yitro

This week's Parsha is a Very Big Deal.  The essence of everything we are supposed to learn from HaShem's teachings is in this week's Parsha.  If you were to boil down the Torah, Yitro is what you would get.  Yitro is Torah buillion (for those of you who don't make soup from scratch. Ahem.)

And what do you think that essence is?  Totally obvious to anyone who's read the Parsha, right?

The Ten Commandments!

Wrong.  Well, in my humble opinion, you're wrong.

What do *I* think the very buillion of belief is?

Na'aseh V'Nishma - We will DO and we will listen.

That little phrase is the cornerstone of my faith.  It defines the motivation for why I dress, eat, speak, worship and live the way I do.  There are days that it is my sustenance.  Declaring "Na'aseh V'Nishma," is telling HaShem, "In everything I will put You first.  I will serve Your will without question.  I have greater faith in You than I do myself."

Now isn't *that* a doozy of a concept in today's day and age?  Look at your life and ask yourself, "Who is the ultimate authority? Who's glory am I living for?"  Is your answer "Me!  Mine!"?  Are there Commandments you don't follow because they aren't logical?  Things you don't do because they "just don't make sense," to you?  We're living in a "We will listen and then we will (maybe) do," time.  In everything, we consider our options, see what fits and choose our path accordingly.  There are some situations for which that is absolutely the right course of action.

There are some situations for which it is not.  In this Parsha, HaShem gives us Ten Commandments.  Before that, we accept them, sight unseen.  In two (Hebrew) words (six in English), we tell Him that whatever he tells us to do, we'll do it.  Every Jewish soul was at Sinai.  Every Jewish soul told HaShem, "I will do, and I will listen."  Even yours.

To me, believing, truly believing that G-d's is the ultimate wisdom is the greatest comfort in my life.  It is a sweet, relieving freedom to know that He is in control and has a plan.

Make this Shabbos Shiny

Do.  Then listen.  Humble yourself before G-d this week and recognize the gift He has given you in Torah.  Concentrate on recognizing His authority and wisdom.

Shabbos Parshas Va'eira

In this week's Parsha, HaShem makes a promise He intends to keep.  He reveals himself to Moses.  G-d tells Moses of the complete redemption of the Jewish people from slavery - He will take us out of Egypt, deliver us from slavery, redeem us and acquire us as His own.  It is a four-pronged promise, incomplete simply in the guarantee to release the Jewish people from bondage.  He promises to release us, care for us, guide us through the desert and then wed us to Him by giving us his Holy Torah. 
 
Every year we celebrate the keeping of this promise when we celebrate Passover and then Shavuos.  In Chassidus, we learn that when we mark the anniversary of something, we relive it spiritually.  That means that every Passover, we relive our redemption.  On Shavuos, we relive the commitment we made with HaShem. 

Do we have to wait until these holidays to relive these moments?  I don't think so.  Every time we do a Mitzvah, we recall the promise HaShem made to us. He took us out of Egypt, delivered us, redeemed us and made us His by giving us the Torah.  Performing the Mitzvahs from the Torah HaShem gave us, strengthens the bonds of our Marriage to G-d.  It reminds us that we are His and that He is ours.  It reminds us that He promised to redeem us and brings us one step closer to our final redemption.

Make this Shabbos Shiny!

Is there a promise you haven't been keeping?  To HaShem?  To others?  To yourself?  Let HaShem shine through you this Shabbos by reaffirming your promises and get a little bit closer to the person you want to be.

Adelle Shayna's Shloshim was Sunday night.  It was the official kickoff of The Shiny Project and everything I had hoped it would be.  Hubby and I got there early to set up.  He did some chair kung-fu in the Ballroom and got rows set up lickety split.  I did up a little table by the entrance with a pretty table cloth, big framed picture of Shiny, and a basket of fridge cards.  I sprinkled butterfly and glitter confetti on the table because to me, an event is not an event without glitter confetti on the table.   

Rabbi Lipskier of Chabad of the West 60s MCed.  Rabbi Kugel of Chabad of the West Side spoke about Achdus.  Rabbi Cohen of Young Israel of the West Side spoke about Taharas HaMishpocha.  They were all very inspiring and gave me great Chizzuk.  At the end, I spoke and we showed a slideshow.  Here is the text of my speech -

            First, I’d like to sincerely thank you all for coming tonight.  I want to thank you for your concern, your friendship, your kindness, your patience and all the delicious food. 

            We are here tonight to remember my daughter, Adelle Shayna, our Shiny Adellephant, of blessed memory.  Adelle Shayna’s entire existence is a remarkable one.  When she was in my belly - a tiny woman, tumbling around inside of me, she was with me as I had the great honor of giving blessings to women as they used the Mikveh.  We were both so blessed to be able to participate in this gift HaShem gave to the Jewish people.  The Mikveh is such a special experience that in the moment of her Tevila, a Jewish woman can ask HaShem for anything at all; daven for anything, tell Him anything.  Before she was even a real person on her own, Adelle Shayna was present for the opening of G-d’s ears over and over.  All this while getting her own private lessons in Torah from an Angel.

            At her birth, as with every birth, the Shechina, the Physical Presence of G-d was there, though I am fairly sure this was not their first meeting.  We rejoiced in the birth of our first daughter as she cried.  It’s said that when a baby is born, the family laughs, but she cries because she is leaving Paradise to come into our world.  When she passed away, we wept and she laughed because she was returning to Paradise.  Once again in the Physical Presense of G-d she left peacefully and suddenly, not giving us a chance to ask for a different verdict and not giving us a chance to be angry when G-d did not change his mind.

            There were 154 days between the time when G-d escorted her to Earth and when He escorted her home.  An infants’ soul is pure and without sin.  They know and do only G-d’s Will.  For 154 days our lives were blessed with the presence of a Tzaddikess.  Every mother thinks that her children are the most special.  Mine really is. 

            Adelle Shayna reveled in attention from anyone and everyone.  She rewarded friendly strangers with an infectious, unreserved smile.  Even on the self-involved streets of Manhattan, people would stop me to look at her.  So often they commented on the depth of her stare.  They said that something in her displayed an age beyond the days she’d been with us.  I just thought it was something nice that strangers said.

            This special little neshoma reached out to others.  She asked for nothing from them and gave them everything she possibly could – a pure, sincere smile that conveyed the heavenly joy of her existence.  She was a simple vehicle; unable to articulate her thoughts into words and still she was able to brighten the lives of so many.

            Before the Shiva, I thought of myself sort of as a concierge.  I had an important role in my job, I was appreciated for it and when we parted ways, our relationship took hiatus until we saw each other again.  Please don’t get me wrong – I love my job.  I have always loved my job.  But over those seven days, you amazed me.  The people, the *love* that filled my house was beyond touching.  It was inspiring.  In the intervening weeks, the care and concern shown by each of you has carried us through.  Even if I have just responded to your inquiries of “What can I do?” with and “I’ll let you know,” to simply know that you are there is the greatest comfort not only to us, but to our families who live far away. 

            Now, let me tell you what you can do.  When you get up tonight, introduce yourself to the person sitting next to you.  Smile at strangers on the street.  Take the question, “What can I do?” with you. 

            Can you even imagine the power that you have?  If my fat little baby could send strangers away smiling and chatting happily what can you as a thinking, speaking adult accomplish?  That’s the idea behind The Shiny Project.  I want you to learn from the example of an infant and spread joy unconditionally.  Use your every faculty to strengthen the spirit of your fellow and inspire him to do the very same. 

            We learn that in Parshas Noach, HaShem provided for the people, things were easy and pleasant.  The people decided that they didn’t need HaShem, because everything was just hunky-dory.  Today, things happen that break our hearts and we say, “Where is G-d?!”

            The Aibishter can’t get a break. 

            It is so easy to become disenchanted with this world, to hate it, even.  Things simply do not make sense.  Gossip magazines are a multi-billion dollar business while children die of starvation.  G-d’s chosen land is beset and besieged on all sides.  The problems of this world are overwhelming.

            But they are within our power to solve.  In the face of such complicated sadness, the solution is so simple.  Just one more mitzvah.  That’s all.  One more mitzvah from each of you not only adds bricks to the Beis HaMikdash but inspires all who know what you’ve done to do one more mitzvah themselves.  And imagine all that they can inspire.  All you have to do is one little thing and Moshiach is right around the corner.  One little thing and the abject ridiculousness of this world is dissolved into perfect peace.  One little thing and no more dirty politics because we’re all under one Divine ruler. 

            Today we kick off The Shiny Project.  Do one simple thing to inspire countless other simple things and bring the greatest thing.  Your act of kindness can bolster the faith of someone else and prompt him to do the same.  You can show others that they are not alone.  Prove to those around you that compassion is a living being – consuming, breathing – and reproducing.  Do one thing every day to breed unity.  Imagine reaching out to one person and he, in turns reaches out to others and so on.  It’s a pyramid scheme of the heart!  No investment!  No minimum order! 

            Recognize the impact you have on the world around you.  Consider your words before you speak them.  Never let an opportunity pass to do kindness. 

            We say “Ba Shana Ha Ba’ah B’Yerushalayim,” Next Year in Jerusalem.  I’m not going to settle for that.  I know what you can do and a year is too long.  Put your energies to positive work and I will see you and all that have gone before us tonight in Yerushalayim.