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In this week's Parshah, Tetzaveh we learn certain laws of conduct for the Kohanim and Kohen Gadol. HaShem instructs Aaron to receive the purest olive oil from Bnai Yisroel and burn it in the Menorah. Later, the dress code for the Kohanim is laid out. The Kohanim must wear linen tunics, pants, headcovers, and sashes wound around their waists. The Kohen Gadol wears all this underneath his own special costume. The Kohen Gadol wore an Efod - an apron of blue, purple and red wool, linen and gold thread, a Choshen - a gold breastplate set with twelve jewels representing the Tribes of Israel. He also wore a Me'il - blue cloak decorated with gold bells and pomegranates at the hem. On his forehead he wore a Tzitz - golden plate declaring him "Holy to G-d."
Living in the time without the Beis HaMikdash, we are without such visible symbols of our service to G-d. We are even without the Kohen Gadol to perform these special services. In our time it is our responsibility to turn our home into our own personal Temple, our "Mikdash Me'at." As the keeper of your home, you are the Kohen Gadol of your Mikdash Me'at. What is your costume?
Your Efod is an shell of humility to G-d's will.
Your Choshen is the love in your heart for your fellow man.
Your Me'il is cloak is the everpresent and surrounding love of G-d.
Your Tzitz is the countenance of a happy neshoma, busy with Mitzvos.

Wearing your costume, you must light the menorah - but where will you get the oil? Olive oil is rent from the inside of the olive after subjecting it to great pressure. When subjected to pressure, the Jewish soul has the chance to give forth its purest "oil," of true faith, and burn brightly in the Menorah, illuminating the world.

Let's make the world shine this week!

The Challenge of Geula 01/06/2011

Our Disney Vacation is booked. I can look at pictures of the hotel, read descriptions of attractions, plan itineraries, even start speculating on the menus. I've been to Disney World dozens of times, I know what I have to look forward to and what I'm looking forward to, more than anything, is a departure from reality.
Real life is tedious and disappointing. Disney life is exciting and magical, why wouldn't I look forward to it? As a Jew, it is in the nature of my very soul to crave something other than what I see. We are ingrained with a primal desire to bring the time of redemption - the Geula. When Moshiach comes and brings Geula, G-d will once again dwell physically on earth. The Holiness of everything will be visible. The world will glow with G-dly light.
Pretty magical, huh?
But we can't look at Geula photo albums or book our Geula reservations. We can only feel pieces of it here and thre when we do Mitzvos. The one thing for which we are supposed to dedicate our lives' work is something we can't see or touch. Yet.
To work to bring Geula is to live a life of faith, and thus craving it is another act of faith. In this week's parsha, the Jewish people were sent forth into the unknown, to an unseen land on a journey fueled by faith. Egypt was a land they could see. It was a rich land filled with beauty and opulence. Israel was a legend across the desert. But one night, B'nai Yisroel just got up and left. Somewhere, on the other side of everything, was redemption. In the meantime, all they could see was sand.
To even leave was a great act of faith. To make the journey was a life of faith. Faith begat faith. The eventuality of true belief is to continue believing. To truly believe that HaShem would deliver them into Israel, B'nai Yisroel had to first believe He would safely take them out of Egypt. Our mission today is to truly believe that HaShem will send Moshiach, and believe our observance of Mitzvos will bring redemption.
We cannot see Geula, but we can feel it's promise. We cannot book our tickets, we must take every faithful step we can towards Geula with every Mitzvah we do. It is in a Jew's nature to believe that no matter what he may see, this is not as good as it gets

The Fifth Night of Chanukah - A rededication. 12/05/2010

It is customary amongst Chasidim to make a big deal over the fifth night of Chanukah. Considering what we know about Jewish festivals, one might think something super amazing happened on the fifth night many years ago. Was the fifth night when we delivered the final kick in the pants, er, togas to the Greeks? Perhaps, during another celebration, years later, another Chanukah miracle occured?
No, not really. The fifth night of Chanukah just happens to fall on a date in the Jewish calendar that can never be on Shabbos. Shabbos is the most illuminated of days - imbued with Holy light and the day on which every Jew gets an extra soul - a redoubled connection to HaShem. So too, any festival celebrated on Shabbos is twice as special. The poor fifth night, however, can never experience this unique energy. The fifth night of Chanukah will only ever hold a certain amount of G-dly light.
What is Chanukah, though, but the Festival of Light? It is the holiday on which we celebrate G-dly light and seek to recreate it. On Chanukah, HaShem made a miracle with lights and it is our perpetual mission to emulate Him. On Chanukah, when there was potential for only a little light, HaShem increased it. Since it is our job to dedicate our lives to becoming more like Him, our mission on Chanukah is to increase light. What better place to increase light when there only seems to be the possibility for so little of it? As we kindle the fifth wick on our Menorahs, we should also be lighting up the world with the glow of G-dliness. Tonight is an especially auspicious time to joyfully engage in the service of G-d and just as light spreads in the darkness, encourage others to do the same. Tonight and tomorrow, concentrate on the opportunities to illuminate the G-dly sparks inside of you and spread the light outward. Even a little light has the strongest effect in the greatest darkness, so this is your chance to truly shine.
Chanukah is the celebration of the victory of the few - The Maccabees - over the many - the Greeks. It is also the celebration of a small amount of oil bringing a great deal of light. In the battle against Antiochus' army it would have been easier, perhaps even seemed more prudent to yield. Antiochus was fine with Jews learning Torah, from and academic standpoint, but to believe that it came from HaShem it was a punishable offense. But Torah without HaShem is a tree with no roots and no sun to nourish it. The Maccabees fought for HaShem, and because of that, HaShem fought with them. He showed the Maccabees that He stood beside them by bringing them through to victory and then shining His light in the Holy Temple. If the Maccabees had succumbed to the apparant and yielded to the might of the Maccabees, that light would not have shone.
Today, we are surrounded by so many things that can detract our attention from G-d and even seek to (Chas V'Shalom) disprove His relevance in our lives. They are easy to see and touch. Are you fighting them as best you can? Chasidus teaches that in every holiday, the spiritual energy of the first occurence of that holiday returns to this world. On Chanukah, we have the chance to tap into the spirit of the Maccabees and fight to bring G-d's light into our lives and spread it to the lives of others. Tonight, as great darkness threatens, the smallest spark can catch aflame bring light to the world.
Now is your chance. Be kind, be joyful, smile and rededicate yourself. Your home is a Mikdash Me'at - a small Temple, as the Cohanim rededicated the Temple on Chanukah to its Holy purpose of being a dwelling place for G-d, make your home and your heart once again a space for the divine in this mundane world.
Today, after a year's hiatus, I am rededicating The Shiny Project to its mission of spreading light to the world. Join the mission by spreading joy and kindness and doing what you can to get closer to G-d. Spread the word and spread the light.

Adelle Shayna's Second Yahrtzeit 11/23/2010

Today is the second Yahrtzeit of Adelle Shayna Bas Yael Davida. Please do an extra Mitzvah in her Zchus (merit).
Humble suggestions -
Make a Bracha on something sweet.
For ice cream or candy - Baruch...Shehacol Neheyeh Bidvaro
For cake, cookies and pastry - Baruch....Boreh Mineh Mezonos
For fruit - Baruch...Boreh Peri Ha'etz (if it grows on a tree) Boreh Peri Ha'Adama (if it grows from the ground)

LIttle Butterfly Pants, di di di, di di di 12/04/2009

Adelle Shayna's first Yahrtzeit is tonight/tomorrow. I'm not going to say I'm dealing with it well or poorly, I have learned over the past year that there is no quality to the behaviors of grief...but I will tell you I'm dealing with it with the help of ice cream, fun size candy bars, and cookies. I've also found myself on the verge of tears at the grocery store and sleeping poorly, being woken by bad dreams. On the flipside, I've been desperately creative. I just finished the scrapbook on which I was working and now I am starving for another project. I kind of want to take up beading, but to what end, I'm not sure. How much stuff can I sew beads on?
I have not been re-granted the rush of chemicals that carried me through the weeks after her death and was responsible for my optimism and the creation of The Shiny Project. I don't feel inspired to do our publish something intense and moving in honor of her Yahrtzeit...I just want to survive the day. I feel like the best I can manage is a twitter campaign. I am really grateful for the amount of support we've seen from our community to help us get through this day and I can't imagine managing without it.
I'm not working tonight, tomorrow Hubby and I are going to Adelle Shayna's Kever for the first time. I just keep thinking, "A year? How could it have been a whole year?" And I'm sad and angry that we're getting so far away from the time we had with her and I just want to look Moshiach in the face and say, "Nu???" I'm just so tired of the bitter dissatisfaction of being a bereaved mother. And now that I'm waaay pregnant and have this KA'H delicious little boy who just wants to be friends with the whole world, I find myself on the bus telling strangers that, no, this is my third child because as uncomfortable as it is to tell a stranger that my daughter died, I refuse to make believe for even a moment that she didn't exist.My feelings have changed since last year. I am now angry and bitter and that's totally OK. My fervent desire remains the same, though. I simply want Moshiach to come and end this suffering. And angry as I may be, I believe he will.

Adelle Shayna's Birthday Weekend Recap. 07/13/2009

Adelle Shayna's first birthday was on Shabbos. We got her this Baby Minnie Mouse. It has a blanket attached that swaddles with velcro and there's a little shiny butterfly over the closure. Perfect, y/y? The Farbrengen we had at our shul was small. We sponsored the kiddush and had some sweets because you know how I need my chocolate when times are tough. But it wasn't really that tough. I was nervous and miserable up until I spoke and then I was ok.
I don't remember it perfectly, but I'll paraphrase what I said -
"A dear friend of mine out in the blogosphere lost her battle with cancer last week. She was in a lot of pain, but she wanted to defeat it and go on living. Now that she has passed away, she's gone to a place where she will never suffer or know sorrow again. She will always know G-d and be close to Him. She will never want for anything.
Here on Earth, things are not so peachy. We suffer, we worry, we want. We have to live without people we love or things that we want. Often, there isn't anything we can do about it. Sometimes it seems like the easiest, even ideal thing to do is wait to die. Why not just give up and wait for G-d to take us into His arms? Let Him deal with everything so we don't have to worry.
If that's what we were meant to do, G-d would just take us. What would He put us down here for if all He wanted us to do was wait? He gave us a job to do. It's our purpose to be here and be working to bring Heaven down to Earth. G-d gave us the Mitzvos so we could do that. Every Mitzvah we do puts one more brick on the Beis HaMikdash and brings us one step closer to establishing G-d's kingdom on Earth and bringing Moshiach.
And here's my segue to the Parsha.
Chassidus tells us that Pinchas had the same Neshama (soul) as Eliyahu HaNovi(Elijah the Prophet). Eliyahu HaNovi will be the one who tells us when Moshiach gets here. Chassidus also tells us that every year, in every cycle of life, when something recurs on the calendar, it recurs spiritually. So, for example, every year on Rosh HaShana, the world is spiritually recreated. Let's hope that this year we'll see the Neshama of Eliyahu HaNovi B'guf (in the flesh), telling us that Moshiach is here. Then we won't have to live without anyone we love or anything we need.
L'Chaim. And I'm making L'Chaim on seltzer, because I'm not in college anymore."

We thought that yesterday (Sunday) we would go to her kever (grave). We haven't been since the funeral. In the end we decided not to. I feel pulled to go there only by a sense of obligation, like people would judge me for not having been there yet. There were a lot of reasons I didn't want to go yesterday. First of all, we didn't have a ride there. We would have to take public transport, which would have taken hours. We would have left Moo in Manhattan. And then what if being there wrecked us and we wanted to see Moo right away? It would be impossible to get back to him quickly. Or, what if being there wrecked us and we just wanted to sleep and *not* deal with Moo's needs for a while? I knew it would be emotionally, downright miserable and at the end of the day on Shabbos, I was feeling ok. I didn't really see a reason to plan for misery.
I just don't want to think of her as a dead body. I know that she is gone. Believe, me, I don't need to stand on the earth she's buried under to understand that she isn't with us anymore, but why should I have to relive the night she died and the day we buried her? How would acknowledging the tragedy or her absense and the horror of losing her honor her birthday?
So, yesterday we had a family day. We celebrated being together and we went to Governor's Island. It was really lovely. The weather was beautiful and the Island itself is wonderful. Lots to do, very peaceful and quiet and it's easy to get to! We took some great picutres and really enjoyed being together. On the way back to the boat to go back to Manhattan, we all bought sodas and it was a fun treat because usually, we just drink water. Moo really enjoyed his "Ornch," soda. We came home and had a nice family dinner and then Moo and I made a cake, which we all had for breakfast this morning. It has eggs! It's practically an omelette.

Adelle Shayna's First Birthday is Coming 07/08/2009

G-dwilling we will be having a Farbrengen at our Shul, Chabad of the West Sixties, this Shabbos, July 11th.

I am renewing my request for more Mitzvahs in her honor. Specifically, I am tweeting Jewish celebrities, asking them to put on Tefillin. I asked Brent Spiner and William Shatner, so far. Any other suggestions??

I'll keep you posted with (IYH!) responses!

Inventory and housekeeping of the soul. 04/26/2009

Pesach has passed us. By now our kitchens are back to normal, tin foil covered counters and extra-cautious food preparation is just a memory. Here we are, moving on with our lives, fully leavened.

In the days and weeks leading up to Passover, we cleaned our houses. Really, really cleaned. I got behind the nightstands, under the beds, in the closets, no stone unturned, no crumb unfound, my house was free of Chametz.

When a Jewish woman visits the Mikvah, before she immerses, she must bathe and clean herself meticulously. Underneath her finger and toenails, behind her ears, even betweeen her teeth, must be immaculate. When she enters the Mikvah, and stands before HaShem, she must be free of all intervening substances.

On Pesach, we all had the opportunity to free ourselves of intervening substances and stand before HaShem, once again at Sinai and facing our redemption. Now the tinfoil is gone, the "shine is off it", but we still stand before G-d. Shavuos approaches us, our chance to receive the Torah once again and affirm our commitment to G-d. My question for you is, between now and then, will you let the "intervening substances" build? Or can we all immerse in HaShem's love for us?

Sorry. 03/13/2009

Shiny Shabbos is on hiatus. I have my hands a little full (in a good way! B'H!) and haven't had a chance to sit down and put together the brilliance I know you're all itching for ;-)

Have a wonderful Shabbos!!!!